I never meant to cause you no pain
I just wanna go back to being the same
Well I, only wanna make things right
before you walk out my life...
'95 - Monica (Miss Thang)
God damn I love that song.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Holy Crap, I'm Schizophrenic. Ha!
Stupid-ass title right? Thought so.
It was actually brought on by flipping through my previous thoughts as posted on this blog. I'm not sure if I'm either crazy, unfocused or simply off-the-chain :-) I can't seem to piece together each of my posts to make sense of what's going on in this effed up brain of mine.
However, I must admit that these blogs are the most honest that I have ever been with myself. For that, I am thankful. I never dare to hit the backspace button, unless it's for spelling.. because that shit drives me nuts!
So other than my crazy-ass inability to remain consistent with my thoughts, I have naturally progressed to the topic of faith. Yes, faith. Faith in God. Your God, my God, OUR God. The creator, holder of the ultimate perfection, love, grace, forgiveness, and son.
Some days I forget. Forget about God amidst all of the madness. Astonishingly enough, I even got distracted attempting to write that sentence. I'm not sure if I'd call it the devil, or human nature, but I'm making it my mission to keep my eyes on God. Focus on the real goal. The goal to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Walk the paths of gold. Stay in the beautiful presence of the Lord. Be at ease of all pressure, pain, fear, and hurt. No questions will go unanswered, no love unfulfilled or unappreciated. That, is the goal.
At the end of the day we will not be judged by our superficial and material possessions, but our hearts. What we would have if everything we ever owned was stripped from us, what our character would say. What our lives would say. How our stories would portray themselves infront of our own creator. The thought is almost unimaginable.
For that day, I pray. I attempt to be the Christian woman that God placed me on this earth to become. My job as a warrior of Christ is to ignore, yet appreciate the presence of those who discourage God's ever flowing presence among us. Worry about yourself. Care for your family, your friends, and all children of God. Because we all share the same faith.
So, to myself, I am reminded to stay humble, to forgive, to be kind, to show sincere emotion, to be truthful, honest, maintain my self-respect, and continue to share the love of God to others. He is almighty and beautiful. He himself, helped me to write this. His love and force runs through my fingers compelling me to write each sentence. Alike, piece by piece, he writes out our lives. So live them as if he is standing next to you... because he's over your shoulder watching your every move. With love, and guidance. Call on him upon any and all troubles, for he will not take you to it, if he cannot take you through it!!
God is Love,
*J
It was actually brought on by flipping through my previous thoughts as posted on this blog. I'm not sure if I'm either crazy, unfocused or simply off-the-chain :-) I can't seem to piece together each of my posts to make sense of what's going on in this effed up brain of mine.
However, I must admit that these blogs are the most honest that I have ever been with myself. For that, I am thankful. I never dare to hit the backspace button, unless it's for spelling.. because that shit drives me nuts!
So other than my crazy-ass inability to remain consistent with my thoughts, I have naturally progressed to the topic of faith. Yes, faith. Faith in God. Your God, my God, OUR God. The creator, holder of the ultimate perfection, love, grace, forgiveness, and son.
Some days I forget. Forget about God amidst all of the madness. Astonishingly enough, I even got distracted attempting to write that sentence. I'm not sure if I'd call it the devil, or human nature, but I'm making it my mission to keep my eyes on God. Focus on the real goal. The goal to enter the kingdom of Heaven. Walk the paths of gold. Stay in the beautiful presence of the Lord. Be at ease of all pressure, pain, fear, and hurt. No questions will go unanswered, no love unfulfilled or unappreciated. That, is the goal.
At the end of the day we will not be judged by our superficial and material possessions, but our hearts. What we would have if everything we ever owned was stripped from us, what our character would say. What our lives would say. How our stories would portray themselves infront of our own creator. The thought is almost unimaginable.
For that day, I pray. I attempt to be the Christian woman that God placed me on this earth to become. My job as a warrior of Christ is to ignore, yet appreciate the presence of those who discourage God's ever flowing presence among us. Worry about yourself. Care for your family, your friends, and all children of God. Because we all share the same faith.
So, to myself, I am reminded to stay humble, to forgive, to be kind, to show sincere emotion, to be truthful, honest, maintain my self-respect, and continue to share the love of God to others. He is almighty and beautiful. He himself, helped me to write this. His love and force runs through my fingers compelling me to write each sentence. Alike, piece by piece, he writes out our lives. So live them as if he is standing next to you... because he's over your shoulder watching your every move. With love, and guidance. Call on him upon any and all troubles, for he will not take you to it, if he cannot take you through it!!
God is Love,
*J
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