Why Can't I Love You In Slow Motion. . .

Today, I write about - "love".
Note: It is in quotations because I do not know what "love" means, what it is, or what it does.

Earlier this afternoon I read a blog on Mr. Bryan-Michael Cox's blog First Of December. He's an infamous songwriter, and Lord knows musicians/songwriters are the most in touch with their emotions, and the notion of "love". Thus, considering he works everyday on defining, discussing, and celebrating "love", I figure he's probably the only person in the world I trust to use the word freely without any quotation marks.

"Why is it when it appears that you might be dating someone seriously, everyone comes out of the woodworks?

I’ll tell you why:

It’s the age old tale of the chase. The challenge. If you are not a challenge then men & women alike will always feel like they can have you when they want you until they make a decision. But what happens if the person that you have had waiting meets someone, really falls for them, and they make the decision before you do? Then all of sudden they aren’t thinking about those 3 days you didn’t call them. They were talking to their new interest. All of sudden they aren’t thinking about the times they emailed/bbm’d you and you didn’t reply. They are bbm’ing their new interest. All of sudden they aren’t thinking about the major event in their life they really wanted you to share with them. They shared it with their new interest. All of a sudden the more time they spend with their new interest, the less they are thinking about you. And then you start to realize that he or she isn’t hitting you like they used to. You start thinking, “Maybe I am losing the control I had over this person. Wait, I am not ready to make a decision but I don’t want this person dating anyone seriously! Oh No! What do I do???”

Pretty eye-opening, especially for me. As to why, I think each person on this planet may relate in some way. Whether you have been subject to it, or personally fucked up the chase yourself!

But right now, my mind is telling me that no matter what, I will NOT let this be me. I will NOT be the one to let some person attempt to have some lingering control over me. I always want to be able to know that I am worth more. Worth the "love" in the movies.

However, as I reflect on my current life position. I realize I'm likely the sucker. The one girl who kindly allows that infamous jerk-bag extraordinaire to continue entering and exiting her life as he pleases. Use her as the best friend he needs, and then dips once he finds a piece of ass that will let him hit it, and keep him busy for the moment.

I guess... I figure he'll wake up. He'll see that I was always here, but know that I won't be here forever. That I'm the one he's been missing all along. He's had it... he just never knew.

I think we, as women try to be that one person who can change that one man. Be the one to make him better. What we forget, is ourselves. What we deserve. And what we deserve, is to be treated and respected like the true goddesses that we are. Not have to wait, wonder, and hurt. We were meant to be cherished. Kept, and held close. Not disregarded and disrespected.

When he turns his back on you, know that you're too precious to stay. Too precious to pass up, too precious to be treated like a door mat, or mishandled like a $5 dollar bill.

You're a child of God, and know that at the end of the day... HE is all you need.